So you decided that you want to watch Wrestlemania 37. That's good! It doesn't matter if you have been watching for 30+ years, or if this is your first event: wrestling is something that can unite everyone, provided that "everyone" enjoys watching drama and comedy put together by sweaty people in cool outfits, and where every conflict is resolved in the middle of a ring, with slams, suplexes and flips. Still, I have written this guide just in case someone wanted to get familiar with the different characters and storylines presented.
But don't worry! Reading this is not necessary to enjoy Wrestlemania. Just like watching an episode of Futurama without any prior knowledge of the cast, it soon becomes apparent during any wrestling event which archetypes or tropes the different performers are incarnating. Nonetheless, maybe you feel like understanding the deeper backstory between Leela and Fry, to continue this analogy, in which case, this guide is for you.
This year's Wrestlemania is split over two days. Why? Because WWE is a gigantic entity which already owns most of wrestling's history and which will not stop until every single wrestler in the world is under contract with them. Seriously, this needs a disclaimer: WWE, Vince McMahon in particular, are not good people to say the least, if not seriously problematic. The performers they employ, however, are more often than not nice people (with some exception). Wrestling itself is a century-old art form which used to be the domain of dozens of different promoters, all of which used to be as powerful as the McMahons and WWE, but which all got swallowed up by the bigger machine for one reason or another in the past 40 years. But that's a fascinating conversation for another day, one which I would LOVE to have, so just ask in the Discord if you feel like talking wrestling history.
All of this is to say that Wrestlemania is taking place over two days this year because WWE has literally hundreds of wrestlers under contracts, and tries to give as many of them a chance to participate in what is arguably their season finale.
And with all of this in mind, let's take a look at the card!
(All pictures courtesy of wwe.com)
Saturday, April 10th 2021
Cesaro vs. Seth Rollins
The Background: Cesaro is probably the strongest man in WWE, and arguably one of its most talented wrestlers. Born in Switzerland, his nickname is "The Swiss Superman" because of his ability to do freaky feats of strength, such as swinging a 500 pounds man by his legs. He is also a much sexier bald man than Prince William could ever dream of being.
Seth Rollins, on the other hand, is an annoying little prick known for getting into twitter fights with fans and also, I guess, being a super athletic wrestling machine. Honestly, he wouldn't be so annoying if he wasn't so good at everything he does, but he's just so obnoxious about it. Anyway, the internet has named him "CrossFit Jesus" because, well, look at him.
The Match: Cesaro, long ignored by the matchmakers, has been on a roll since the start of 2021, making a name for himself with victories over popular wrestlers such as Daniel Bryan and Shinsuke Nakamura. Seth Rollins, coming back from injury, took notice and asked Cesaro to become his new lackey to help enforce his vision of what WWE would be (his previous lackey, Buddy Murphy, disappeared off the face of the Earth after finding a girlfriend). Cesaro said no because Rollins is annoying, Rollins did NOT like his answer, so we're having a match to settle things!
Tag Team Turmoil: Naomi & Lana vs. Mandy Rose & Dana Brooke vs. The Riott Squad vs. Natalya & Tamina vs Carmella & Billie Kay
The Background: Lana is a semi-Russian wrestler who has also appeared in the movie Pitch Perfect. She's not very experienced, so she has been getting picked on by the veterans. The only one to come to her defence was Naomi, a high-flying wrestler from Florida who loves to use her butt as a weapon. They developed a friendship and are now a team.
Mandy Rose is a CrossFit fanatic who loves gold, and has based her gimmick around those two facts. She used to be partners with Sonya Deville, but they split when Deville accused Rose of making the whole team about herself. Floundering since the split, Rose has found a new partner in Dana Brooke, who is ALSO a CrossFit fanatic and loves to lift heavy things just for fun. They have been moving up the tag team ranks ever since.
The Riott Squad is the most seasoned duo in the match, having been a team for a few years now. They used to be a trio, but the third member was released from the company a few months ago. Now, the team is composed of Ruby Riott, the namesake of the team and previous boss of the whole thing, and Liv Morgan, previously Riott's sidekick who has now improved as a wrestler to make this a more equal partnership. They have never won the tag team championship, but they're getting closer every time.
Natalya & Tamina are a team because they both come from families with a longstanding tradition of wrestling, and they are tired of being overlooked when they both have such an imposing legacy. Natalya is the granddaughter of Stu Hart, the daughter of Jim Neidhart, and the niece of Bret Hart, Owen Hart, and the British Bulldog Davey Boy Smith. Tamina is the daughter of Hall of Famer Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka, but cannot use her last name anymore because her father did some very bad things during his life and the last name is now kinda toxic in the wrestling industry.
Billie Kay used to be in a team called "The Iiconics" with her best friend Peyton Royce, but they wagered their ability to team against a chance at the tag team championship. They lost, so they can no longer legally team together. Billie has been feeling lost ever since, looking for a new partner, distributing her resume amongst her coworkers. Everyone was laughing at her, until Carmella accepted her resume and, seeing that Billie is an ex-tag team champion, accepted the offer to team up.
The Match: The tag team ranks have been growing quickly in the past few months, and with so many new contenders, it was decided that these teams would compete in a tag team turmoil: Every team draws a number. The first and second team have a match until someone wins. The winner stays in, and the third team joins them for a match and so on, until only one team remains. The luck of the draw is important, but the last team entering the match is also not as warmed up as their opponent, so anything can happen! The winner goes on to the TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH on Sunday, against the champions Shayna Baszler & Nia Jax.
Extra Background: The Champions are Nia Jax and Shayna Bazsler. Baszler is a former MMA fighter who is VERY good at applying holds and submission manoeuvres. Her character is known to break arms whenever possible just because she can. Nia Jax is a powerhouse who likes to bully her opponents, like the unfortunate Lana, who got put through the announcers' table for five weeks in a row or so. They did not use to go along at all, but they decided to give the partnership a chance when they realized that they were pretty much unstoppable together. They'll have to defend their championship on Sunday, but given that their opponent will have fatigue from the previous night, they'll have the advantage.
Steel Cage Match: Braun Strowman vs. Shane McMahon
The Background: Strowman used to be a member of a hillbilly cult called The Wyatt Family, but ended up leaving when the leader had other plans (this will come up later in this article). He's now a mountain of a man who literally flips ambulances and trucks when he's unhappy.
Shane McMahon is Vince McMahon's son, a man nearing his 50s who becomes beet red when he wrestles for too long because he only does it once or twice a year, probably spending the rest of his year swimming in his Scrooge McDuck vault full of gold coins.
The Match: Basically, Shane is a bully, because he is a McMahon. He is such a bully that he even antagonizes the guy who's 9 inches taller and 150 pounds heavier, just because he thinks he can. After spending the last two months getting the better of Strowman intellectually, he pushed his folly to the point of offering Strowman a match at Wrestlemania, with any stipulation of Strowman's choice. Big Braun picked a steel cage match, meaning that Shane cannot escape this ass kicking... unless Shane's friends Elias and Jackson Ryker decide to sneak in somehow?
RAW Tag Team Championship: The New Day (c) vs. AJ Styles & Omos
The Background: The New Day used to be a three-men team of gamers and general pop culture nerds, until Big E got drafted to Smackdown, the other WWE show. Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods, meanwhile had to stay on Raw. Being best friends for life and super wholesome people, they are currently in the middle of their 11th (!!!) tag team title reign.
AJ Styles is a very southern man who loves Jesus and has silky smooth hair. He may or may not be a Flat Earther, for which his coworkers ruthlessly make fun of him. He also happens to be a very good wrestler. Omos is a gigantic man who AJ Styles hired to be his bodyguard because he was tired of being made fun of, and who has never had a professional wrestling match in his career so far.
The Match: Shortly after winning yet another tag team championship, it looked like The New Day might not have proper competition for Wrestlemania, having disposed of every other challengers. This is when AJ Styles, usually a singles wrestler, proposed that he and his bodyguard Omos could take a shot at the champions. The New Day originally thought this was a joke since, as mentioned previously, Omos has never wrestled before. Styles basically said "Oh, you'll see!", so the match is on!
Bad Bunny & Damian Priest vs. The Miz & John Morrison
The Background: Being old and out of touch with music, I did not know who Bad Bunny is, until I was told that he is actually a Grammy-winning rapper and one of the most popular artists on the planet at the moment. Damien Priest is his friend because he's a wrestler whose entire gimmick is "I'm a rock star and I love to party", so they meshed together quite well.
The Miz is a former Real World contestant on MTV who parlayed his fame into a wrestling contract with WWE. He has since become a multi-time world champion, as well as a tag team champion with his friend John Morrison. They have in fact been teaming on and off since the early 2000s. They claim to be A-listers because they have both appeared in a handful of direct-to-DVD movies over the years, but you'd be hard pressed to find their films anywhere outside of a Walmart 5$ bin.
The Match: Bad Bunny was a special guest at the Royal Rumble (WWE's January event), where he performed a song to the acclaim of fans worldwide. The Miz, feeling immediately threatened by someone who might be more successful than him (so it happens a lot), took exception to Bad Bunny interfering in one of his matches against Damien Priest. Since then, the two have been at each other's throat, culminating with Bad Bunny breaking a guitar over The Miz's back. This insult will NOT stand, so Bad Bunny is this year's Wrestlemania Celebrity Wrestler! (In the past, Floyd Mayweather, Maria Menounos, Mr. T, and even Snooki have been in this role)
WWE Men's World Championship Match: Bobby Lashley (c) vs. Drew McIntyre
The Background: Bobby Lashley has only been champion for a few weeks, defeating the aforementioned Miz to win the title. He is also known as "The Almighty", probably because he's got so much muscles that we would consider it unrealistic if we saw anyone looking like that in a comic book. He's also an accomplished MMA athlete, who used to run with a faction known as "The Hurt Business" until he ditched them recently. He is managed by MVP, an ex-wrestler who likes talking a lot.
Drew McIntyre first won the world championship at last year's Wrestlemania, defeating Brock Lesnar. He held the belt for most of the year, until The Miz beat him in an impromptu match after McIntyre had survived for 45 minutes in the Elimination Chamber (it's a thing, just ask me if you want more details on that). Otherwise, he's just your regular Scottish guy, wearing a kilt and walking to the ring with a really big sword.
The Match: Ever since losing the championship in February, Drew McIntyre has been wanting it back. His chase brought him head to head with his best friend Sheamus, and the fight ended up destroying their friendship. Nevertheless, Drew won that match, earning the right to face Bobby Lashley at Wrestlemania and possibly regain possession of his precious. As for Bobby, he feels like Drew is the only real threat to his reign, so he has offered a championship match to ANYONE who could take out McIntyre before Wrestlemania. No one has been successful so far, so the match has to go on as scheduled!
Smackdown Women's Championship: Sasha Banks (c) vs. Bianca Belair
The Background: Sasha Banks is known as "The Boss", because she has been one of the most successful women in WWE for the past 5 years. A multi-time champion, her current reign started when she dethroned her former best friend Bayley. You might have also seen her in The Mandalorian, where she plays Koska Reeves, another Mandalorian.
Bianca Belair is a former track athlete and power lifter who can literally pick up most of her opponents above her head and throw them like a bag of garbage. She calls herself "The E.S.T.", because she claims to be the fastEST, the strongEST, etc. The thing is, she might not be wrong about any of that. She also has a super long braid that she uses to whip her opponent, because she found a loophole where weapons are legal if they're attached to your body.
The Match: Bianca Belair is the 2021 winner of the Women's Royal Rumble, and as such, was owed a match against a champion of her choice at Wrestlemania. She picked Sasha Banks because she wants to upstage "The Boss" on the biggest stage of them all. Since then, Banks and Belair have managed to coexist in peace for a few weeks, even managing to stay friendly long enough to challenge for the Tag Team Championship in early March. When that challenge was not successful, Banks immediately turned on her challenger, feeling like she was to blame for their loss. Any illusion of respect between the two has since been thrown out of the window, and what should have been a clean challenge to find out who the best wrestler is has turned into a bitter rivalry between the young upstart and the veteran fearing for her spot.
Sunday, April 11th 2021
United States Championship: Matt Riddle (c) vs. Sheamus
The Background: Matt Riddle has been United States champion for a few months now, but he's also a successful UFC fighter who was thrown out of the company because he would rather smoke weed than pass some stupid drug test for the privilege of being punched in the face. Thankfully, WWE does not seem to care about that (which, considering they had Rob Van Dam, Road Dogg and X-Pac under contract for decades, they shouldn't). Completely unrelated to that previous information, he likes to say "bro" a lot and always looks like he just woke up.
Sheamus is your typical Irish man: He's very pale, his hair is incredibly orange, and he has an entire room of his house dedicated to his love of Guinness. That last part is not even part of his character, that's just him in real life. Anyway, he's known as "The Celtic Warrior", he has some violent tendencies, and he loves to kick people in the face. He's also had some very unfortunate haircut choices over the years.
The Match: Sheamus fought his former best friend Drew McIntyre for a chance to face Bobby Lashley for the World Championship. Sheamus lost that one, so instead, he turned to the United States Championship. The requirements to face the US champion are not as stringent, so all he had to do was cheap shot Matt Riddle while poor Matt was riding his scooter backstage (Matt doesn't walk. He rides a scooter while wearing flip flops). The champion is thus looking to beat the man who wronged him in this battle of technique against power.
Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn
The Background: Kevin Owens is a burly man from Marieville, Quebec who is known as "The Prizefighter", because he has a tendency to betray those closest to him if it can further his career. He claims that he is in the wrestling business only to make enough money to provide his family with a comfortable life. He has been behaving himself lately, and he has not betrayed anyone since the pandemic started. Baby steps!
Sami Zayn is actually the opposite. A first-generation Syrian immigrant who arrived in Montreal as a kid, he is the real-life best friend of Kevin Owens. For years, he was the ultimate nice guy, always doing what's right even if it cost him victory in the end. However, years of being taken advantage of has turned him into a bitter man who now manipulates other wrestlers for his own gains and who never hesitates to cheat or cower if it can help him.
The Match: A few months ago, Sami Zayn lost his Intercontinental Championship fair and square to Big E. However, the years of abuse only served to fuel poor Sami's paranoia, to the point where he feels like this lost is part of a bigger conspiracy against him in WWE. To that end, he hired a documentary crew that follows him 24/7, so that there is now always "impartial" footage of his different matches. A few weeks ago, he approached his on-again/off-again best friend Kevin Owens to help him in his quest for justice. Kevin tried to turn him down gently, but telling a paranoid man that everything is in his head is really not the best way to deal with it. Therefore, for the first time in their relationship, Sami turned on Kevin before the opposite could happen, and since Kevin is like "hey, betraying friends is my thing!", they have to fight it out once and for all.
Also, Logan Paul is gonna be involved somehow because I guess Sami googled "documentarian" and didn't bother to filter the results.
Intercontinental Championship: Big E (c) vs Apollo Crews
The Background: Big E used to be the third man in The New Day, usually as the powerhouse of the group. He loves breakfast cereals, pancakes and unicorns. Since being drafted to Smackdown away from his friends, he has found new success as a singles wrestler, culminating in a win over Sami Zayn for the Intercontinental Championship. He's one of the nicest people you'll ever meet in real life and a super funny guy on top of everything. In the past, he has wrestled while dressed as Dragon Ball and Final Fantasy characters.
Apollo Crews used to be a friendly guy who tried to coast on his athleticism to make it to the top of the company. After a few years of middling success, he finally snapped. He is now embracing his origins, claiming to be a descendant of Nigerian Royalty, usually accompanied to the ring by his Royal Guards.
The Match: The thing is, Big E has already beat Crews THREE TIMES in 2021. However, this all happened when Crews was still a good guy playing by the rules. Asking for yet another rematch, Big E told him that he needed to get back to the end of the line and earn a new opportunity. Crews did NOT like this, feeling it was disrespectful to someone who is, after all, a descendant of the Nigerian Royal Family. So he royally beat Big E's ass in a display of fury and violence rarely seen from the formerly mild-mannered man. This should be the final chapter of their war, but you never know with WWE. For example Dolph Ziggler and Kofi Kingston literally faced each other 26 times between 2009 and 2014.
The Fiend (w/ Alexa Bliss) vs. Randy Orton
The Background: Oooooooooooooooooooh boy. This is gonna be a weird one.
The Fiend is the demonic entity that has taken over the body of Bray Wyatt for the past few years. Bray Wyatt used to be a cult leader, whose Wyatt Family was filled with bearded hillbilly that he could control at will, but then, hey, The Fiend happened and he's never been the same since. Being possessed by a demon has its pros and cons: He can now control fire and seems to be immortal, but in his off-time, he seems to be permanently stuck on the set of an imaginary kids show called "The Firefly Funhouse". There, he wears sweaters and talks with creepy puppets until "The Fiend" allows him to leave when his bidding need to be done.
Randy Orton is a third generation wrestler, and he's been with WWE since 2002. He is a 14-time World Champion, and he's basically won everything that there is to be won. He was diagnosed with Intermittent Explosive Disorder a few years ago, which is supposed to explain his violent mood swings. Alternately known as "The Legend Killer", "The Viper" and "The Apex Predator", Orton seems to think he's a snake as he loves to slither around before hitting his victims with his finisher, the RKO. That same finisher was the subject of memes a few years ago, so you might have seen him in that.
The Match: Yes, it gets weirder.
Late last year, The Fiend extended its influence. No longer content with controlling Bray Wyatt, it started influencing Alexa Bliss, who was previously known as "The Goddess". Since falling under the spell of The Fiend, she has turned on her friend and started showing supernatural tendencies.
MEANWHILE, Randy Orton had been trying to get rid of The Fiend for months because he wanted to focus on regaining the World Championship. To make sure that The Fiend would not come back, after their last encounter, he doused him in gasoline and SET HIM ON FIRE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING. Because that's a thing that wrestlers do.
Good news: It worked! The Fiend has been gone ever since. Bad news: The Fiend instead transferred its powers to Alexa Bliss, who has been haunting Orton ever since. She has made him vomit black goo, she has thrown fireballs at him, and even caused an evil clone of Randy Orton to appear and taunt him. So what's the most logical way to make this all stop? For the 6'5'' Randy Orton, it was to challenge the 5'1'' Alexa Bliss to a wrestling match.
The match was unfortunately a bitter defeat for Orton. Not only was Bliss able to keep him at bay by using her demonic magic (she even caused the stage lights to fall and nearly kill poor Randy), but The Fiend reappeared after months in exile, tearing a hole in the ring and showcasing his new "BBQed Fiend" outfit.
So after months of torment, Randy Orton will try once and for all to vanquish The Fiend, while The Fiend will try to avenge his fiery death.
Raw Women's Championship: Asuka (c) vs. Rhea Ripley
The Background: Asuka is one of the best, fiercest wrestlers in the world. At one point in her career, she went undefeated for 914 days. That's almost 2 and a half years! She likes to call herself "The Empress of Tomorrow", because she apparently plans to be immortal and rule forever. She had a few setbacks once her undefeated streak came to an end, but she has since rebounded by becoming the Raw Championship. She's also the coolest and I'm sure you'll love her.
Rhea Ripley is Australian, and also super tall and crazy strong. She calls herself "The Nightmare", because she loves heavy metal music and hurting people. Since starting her career, she has won the NXT Championship AND the NXT UK Championship. This is her debut on the Raw brand after being the runner-up to Bianca Belair in the Royal Rumble. Also, she likes to wear black lipstick, which sometimes make her look like the guy from the band Little Big.
The Match: Asuka has been champion for a few months, and has managed to beat every challenger coming her way. Rhea Ripley, being a former champion on two other shows, walked up to Asuka one day and basically demanded a championship match, because that's something you can do when you are "The Nightmare". Asuka accepted, because she has beaten everyone she has faced, but she has never faced Ripley. This is going to be the toughest challenge to date for both wrestlers.
Triple Threat Match for the Universal Championship: Roman Reigns (c) vs. Edge vs. Daniel Bryan
The Background: Roman Reigns is known by many nicknames, such as "The Big Dog", "The Tribal Chief", "The Head of the Table", but also "The Sweet Samoan Prince". He is currently the main money-making machine of WWE. He hangs out with his advocate Paul Heyman, and his cousin Jey Uso. He's also super handsome and charismatic and my wife has a huge crush on him. I kinda do too.
Edge was one of the biggest stars of the late 90s and 2000s, first as a vampire/goth kid, and then as a lewd opportunist. He had to retire in 2011 at the age of 37 because of spinal stenosis, which meant that if he landed on his back just one more time, he could have been paralyzed for life. However, it turns out that NOT wrestling for nearly a decade is a great way to heal, and he was finally cleared for a return to the ring in 2020, making his emotional comeback at that year's Royal Rumble.
Daniel Bryan was once known as The Planet's Champion, preaching a vegan lifestyle, the use of renewable resources, and a more equal society. Somehow, this made him a bad guy in the eyes of real-life evil billionaire Vince McMahon. The fans, however, saw right through this, and kept cheering Daniel Bryan because he's such a lovable guy. He's also an absolute wizard of wrestling with the knowledge of hundreds of different holds and manoeuvres. Finally, he was also, just like Edge, retired for a few years. His issue was concussions, which means that even though he is medically cleared, the world holds its breath whenever he lands on his neck or head.
The Match: Roman Reigns has been the champion since his return from leukemia in 2020. His attitude changed in the summer, becoming more and more entitled because of his championship successes. Edge, having won the 2021 Royal Rumble at the ripe age of 47, is owed a title shot at Wrestlemania. He has thus decided to challenge Reigns in hope of winning one last championship, feeling that it is his last shot at stardom.
Enter Daniel Bryan! As the winner of the Elimination Chamber, Bryan was granted a shot at Reigns BEFORE Edge, and Edge did not like that one bit, feeling like Bryan was trying to rob him of his dream match. During the Reigns vs Bryan match, Edge decided he had enough. Seeing that Reigns was about to submit to Bryan's hold, he picked up a chair and hit both contestants with it, ensuring that Reigns would retain the championship and keeping his Wrestlemania match intact.
Daniel Bryan, however, would not go away. Being seen as the uncrowned champion, the powers-that-be decided to insert him into the Edge/Reigns match, turning it into a TRIPLE THREAT MATCH. Needless to say, everyone is happy about it, except for Edge and Roman Reigns.
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And there you go! I hope this will help you enjoy Wrestlemania, and don't hesitate to message me in the Discord if you have any questions!
Happy Wrestlemania!
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